Reflections On Becoming A Teacher

This is something I wrote just trying to think about some of the things we have been learning and thinking about. My classes this semester are much more interesting and leave me feeling like connections are coming at me left right and center but the only way for me to process these connections is to write. So here is the first of (hopefully) many where I synthesize the ideas that are going through my head. I invite you to think with me and grow with me by commenting below (I do see your comments! I may even reply :) )

I want to spend some time reflecting on what I have been learning lately. My classes have been converging towards the practical spaces, realities and pedagogies that go into creating a multicultural, anti-racist educational system.

I am drawing on three readings in this reflection that came from the same course. All were about teacher education. Two were easy to contrast. One was called the pedagogy of difference and the other was called the pedagogy of fear. The first was about the importance of embracing a pedagogy that encourages identity formation that vary from the hegemonic categories that the world provides us with. The second was about how fear is involved in disrupting Whiteness. And the last one was about creating spaces of discomfort that challenge the idea of safe spaces since safe spaces are safe only for Whites.

The bottom line in all of these was that this process is inherently unpleasant. It involves undoing a system that many, mostly Whites but I would put some people of color in there as well, have become comfortable with because it works for them. I think it’s true that the people who are suffering are the ones who are able to see the need for change. For people who the system works for it takes awareness and a willingness to engage in critical thinking to recognize that there is something wrong.

One article used the word violent. A violence that is about breaking what is considered normal unapologetically and without compromise. It holds ideals of equality and equity over those of comfort and politeness. It is done with intention and in a way that forces others to face it. They are unable to turn their faces away, to deny the existence of this violence.

I recognize the need for being unapologetic, for forcing Whites to face the need for change. When we shake something, it is an inherently violent act. It is uncomfortable and disturbing. But what I want to know is how we can shake things up and yet be loving. How can we shake and yet also say that “I know this is uncomfortable and I wish it wasn’t so” without unintentionally sending Whites the message that their comfort matters over the comfort of others?

I think part of the answer is actually in one of my policy course readings. It said that to reach an audience, we must seek to first understand their frames. People are not willing to change their frames but rather work off of them and build from them. If we appeal to their existing frames, we have hope to change their beliefs.

So the first step is to listen, which is the first step in building relationships of any kind. Listening is founded on love because by listening we send the message that what others say matters. That they matter.

And yet. Yet it is not fair for people of color to have to sit and listen to Whites. We have been listening to Whites for ages, silently (or not so silently) forced to absorb their message whether we liked it or not. So Whites must be willing to listen. And people of color must be willing to speak.

To build such a space, the unspoken is as important as the spoken. The feelings that ripple between the spaces between bodies have a power beyond words. Those feelings cause us to build walls, to not listen, to not be heard. But by being vulnerable and open to those very feelings we may create a space where connections can form and suddenly those walls are torn down and cannot be built. Because it is when we have feelings of mutual distress and discomfort, and when we realize the shared humanity of that discomfort that we can start to listen, to be heard.

So maybe the answer is shared vulnerability that arises from discomfort. Being vulnerable brings us together. If only we are willing to let it do so.