Suomen Soliloquies

One of my friends requested that I write a post about love. Now felt like a good a time as any for such a post. Admittedly, this post is extremely personal and I have more than a few misgivings about putting this out for the world to see. I wish that I could write about how I was in a wonderful relationship. My first somewhat real relationship was a whirlwind of emotions but it ended soon after it began. It’s end though allowed me to appreciate the other kinds of love that I am blessed to be surrounded by. These are the wonderful people around me who have come, in all forms and at all times, to lift me up during times of doubt, worry, pain or loneliness.   My class loves potlucks and recently we had another one. Since my kitchen has proved to be a good location for such gatherings in the past, I volunteered to host it again. The day of the potluck turned out to be a very emotionally low day for me. I spent much of it crying and then trying in vain to g

I didn’t like tea for most of my life. Mami, my aunt, very strongly discouraged us from drinking tea, telling us “gitte reh jaoge (you will remain short)” any time we voiced a desire to have some. This was said so many times that we regarded it as a cold, hard fact. Unfortunately for Mami, seeing her only once every two years meant that we grew older rather quickly between visits and she didn’t have many opportunities to continue telling us this piece of wisdom before our heights were pretty much set in stone and could no longer be threatened by a cup of hot chai. For Western children, they outgrew Santa Clause. We outgrew Mami’s alarmism. My parents drinking their afternoon cup. But Mami’s efforts did not go in vain. Having never drank tea habitually as children, we didn’t feel any affinity to it as young adults. I was accustomed to seeing my parents’ elaborate morning ritual of going for a walk, making tea, and drinking tea while reading the paper. Every aspect of the

A picture of my parents and cousin from Diwali. In my house we celebrate Diwali and have a small Christmas. I don't know many Finnish people, even after being here for five months. But I feel that I've done pretty well, considering I'm in an international program and can say I have four Finnish friends (one isn't quite a friend, but he has helped me out quite a bit) and I can say I have nascent Finnish language skills. I've grown comfortable here, though I still feel like a foreigner. One man who has been living in Finland for almost a decade came here from an African country for his masters. He married a Finn but cannot speak any Finnish himself. And yet, I have the sense that he still does not feel like he belongs here. In one of our classes, he told us how he still gets called racial slurs walking down the street. He commented offhandedly one day “I don’t know what I am.” I understand this feeling, to an extent. I have never been called a racial slur b