Love Letter

One of my friends requested that I write a post about love. Now felt like a good a time as any for such a post. Admittedly, this post is extremely personal and I have more than a few misgivings about putting this out for the world to see.

I wish that I could write about how I was in a wonderful relationship. My first somewhat real relationship was a whirlwind of emotions but it ended soon after it began. It’s end though allowed me to appreciate the other kinds of love that I am blessed to be surrounded by.

These are the wonderful people around me who have come, in all forms and at all times, to lift me up during times of doubt, worry, pain or loneliness. 

My class loves potlucks and recently we had another one. Since my kitchen has proved to be a good location for such gatherings in the past, I volunteered to host it again. The day of the potluck turned out to be a very emotionally low day for me. I spent much of it crying and then trying in vain to get something done when I wasn’t. But then the love began pouring in. Two friends, one who figured out what was going on and one who I explicitly called because I needed an uplift came over an hour before to gently chide me and my thoughts away from the train wreck they were threatening to become. When my classmates arrived, they let me be a terrible host and started setting things up without forcing me to join them before I was ready. They welcomed me when I was there and yet gave the space I wanted. And as they left, several offered to be a listening ear if I needed one, without asking for any information on what was going on. I wish I had shown my gratitude then.

I have said before that Finland has allowed me to create a new identity for myself and everyone who I have met here has had a part to play in this creation. It is because of the people I am surrounded by that I have had the courage and motivation to continue refining myself into a better version of myself. They have offered encouragement, tough love, and admonished me when I have been unreasonable.

This is not to say the people at home have not been part of the process. My family, for one, is a rock that I wouldn’t get very far without. And my friends back at home have been doing all of these things for a very long time. It took leaving for me to finally appreciate them.

There may be plenty of times when darkness creeps in. But I still know that with all the love I get during those times, I am one of the lucky ones.