Finding Joy

The inside of the Sagrada Familia, reminiscent of a forest with sunlight peeking through

Part of the Sagrada Familia

I went to Barcelona this week on a holiday from what has already felt like a holiday ever since I finished my thesis. Since I had two months in Finland before I go back to the US, I thought that some traveling was in order to take advantage of being in Europe where you can hop from country to country without (sometimes) even having to show any form of identification. And so I decided to finally go to a place in Europe that I have wanted to visit for years: Barcelona. The week leading to the trip was a flurry of activity. I was looking up transportation, walking tours, the many sights in the city, possible day trips to take. At one point I had at least seven tabs open to pages related to Barcelona. All of the research made me excited for my three days to explore a little bit of Spain.

The first day was a flurry of activity. Having arrived late the previous night, I wanted to devote this day to getting a feel for the city in the day light. I ate an early breakfast at one of the cafes that were on virtually every street corner. By the time my scheduled visit to the Sagrada Familia had come about at 9 in the morning, I had already walked over 5000 steps as I wandered around the area close to it. Throughout the day, I wandered farther and farther from where I was staying to the other side of the city and then walked all the way back. I came to my temporary home feeling exhilarated by everything I had seen and managed to do on my own (I am not a fan of traveling alone and get nervous every time I go to a new place).

Streets in the historical part of Tarragona

The second day was my day trip. Trying to figure out how to find my train when I didn’t know Spanish (and continuously said yes and no in Finnish, much to my boyfriend’s amusement), and when the monitors telling where each incoming train was going weren’t working was a challenge that I fortunately got through without too much anxiety. Tarragona was a small and very European. There was a distinct old part of the town and new, with the old having narrow streets that led into small plazas filled with bars and restaurants meant for people more than cars, and the newer part with wide streets and plenty of car and pedestrian traffic alike. The draw of Tarragona was the Roman ruins scattered throughout the city dating from the 2^nd century BC.

The Amfiteatre ruins from when Tarragona was a Roman city

But at the end of my day in Tarragona while I waited for my train, I realized that what I really wanted was to go back to Finland. I missed the forests everywhere and the quietness of the people and landscape. I missed the security of being with my boyfriend. It was at home where I felt peace within myself. While I could find happiness in Spain, I needed to return to Finland to find joy.

View of the water from Tarragona

Many of us travel to chase after happiness and adventure. It moves us out of the comfort zone of the familiarity of home and teaches us humility when we are put in positions where we are no longer the ones in control. I certainly felt both of these in Spain not knowing how to even order a coffee and in trying to figure out the metro to and from the airport. But in Spain I also realized that the excitement traveling provided did bring me contentment and joy. Those were to be found at home where there was perhaps less novelty but greater calm.