Skip to main content

Songs of Stillness

Two weeks ago it felt like the world was ending.

The numbers from New York, which captured me with their stunning speed and the realization that I had left just before the situation became so much worse, grew rapidly each day. It began to dawn on the US that this was going to change everything. The grocery stores were filled with empty shelves. Empty shelves could only indicate that the world was ending.

Until I heard the birds singing.

I was on a run in a park when I heard them. They jolted me out of a reverie thinking about the headlines. Pandemic, economy, toilet paper. I looked around at the space around me in the park. The prairie grass expanded around me even in its dormant winter state. I saw the sky, blue with flecks of white clouds drifting above me. Nature is still in business.

Even though the news is dire and the world we humans have built seems to be falling apart at the seams, buds are appearing in the trees. I see birds now on the roof through my childhood bedroom window that are playing in the rain water.

And when the weather is good, the sun brings people who are cooped up all day, out into its warmth. You see couples walking, children riding bikes and people setting up lawn chairs in their driveways as if to watch a soccer game. Entire families, with children of all ages, are trooping out in the neighborhood to get fresh air and escape the confines of their homes.

But my favorite is when I go out on days the weather isn't as nice. During these times, I relish having to zip my coat and put my hood on. I miss weather I realize with the hood covering part of my gaze. Or at least, having to brave the weather because I have to go to work. Now, I rarely go outside unless its sunny and warm.

There is also a stillness in the neighborhood now. Silence has always reigned in my hometown (meaning the noise in New York has taken quite some getting used to) but the quality of the silence is different.
Everything is still, waiting in place. And with waiting comes anticipation. So I stop to take the stillness and the anticipation. And sometimes, just to listen to the birds.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Necessity of Finland

Before I moved out of my apartment in my hometown and left for Finland, I decided to have a few friends over for dinner. It was a big deal because 1) I didn’t really invite people over 2) I decided to make Indian food, on my own. I was extremely nervous the entire afternoon and stayed mostly quiet while my guests were there. They had fun, which was my consolation, but part of me was glad when it was over. This dinner came to mind the other day when I invited almost everyone I know in Finland for Ice Cream Sunday (I was rather pleased with the name). The people I called were classmates in my program, from my Finnish classes, friends I have met at events; in other words, an odd assortment of people who didn’t know each other very well. This evening I was not quiet or nervous. Instead I felt in charge and poised. I knew what I was doing. There were two years in between these two parties. In the intervening years I came to Finland. I completed a Masters degre...

Working Identities

The halls of a TC building where I must be a doctoral student It’s been a while since my last post. To be honest, I haven’t done much besides school work, to the point that the I no longer know what to tell people when they ask me what my hobbies are. Which also means I feel a constant looming pressure of knowing I live in a big city with a reputation for never sleeping yet I spend my weekends holed up in my room or in the library (and the occasional coffee shop). This is not to say that I spend all of my time doing doctoral work. I have found two outlets in the form of jobs that have enriched this semester in ways that I didn’t expect. One is at a preschool, the other is working at the Graduate Writing Center consulting students working on academic writing projects. After not working for two years, I had forgotten what it feels like to be part of something that allows for change that you can actually see. Teaching is always rewarding as you watch children grow and marvel...

A Whole New World

I knew Loth was a hippie house (more precisely, student coop) before I laid eyes on it. It was clear from the emails about whether pizza boxes are compostable, complete with attached email responses from a professor in ecology. I knew it from an email pleading for the return of a plant that “was not up for grabs” or an angrier one with the subject line “Dear gelato thief…”. The mushroom mailbox I also knew from the countless emails I received the week before I arrived warning about an upcoming habitability inspection done by Central Office to make sure the house was, well, habitable. The sheer amount of emails pleading for people to do certain tasks so the house would pass the inspection was telling of the house’s current state even though I was over 5000 miles away. Especially telling was the email sent after, chastising the residents for not pulling up their breeches and cleaning the house in time for the inspection. And if there was any doubt in my ...